I live in darkness.No one’s there to help me.Even thought I scream for help,no one’s coming.What can I do other than screaming for help?I lifted my hand.I looked at the sky. The cold night reminds me how lonely am I.I lost my friend in just one blink.They don’t want me.
I want them to notice that I’m here.I’m not transparent.So I lied to get their attention.But.. It looks like it didn’t work.The more I talk,the more they ignore me.I think they think that I’m annoying.I cried in pain,hugging my leg and hide my tears in my arm.From that day onwards,I’m all alone and I don’t wish to trouble anyone anymore. I don’t want to be a burden to them.
I don’t want them to hate me.But the only way to avoid problems,is hate me.So I tried a lot of things so that all of them hate me.My words are bad,my attitude are bad.Everything about me are bad.Even thought that I’m hurt by their words,but I have to bare with it...This is what I get when I’m selfish.
I want friends.I want a lot a lot of friends.But I don’t think I can fulfil my wish.I deserve for what I’ve done.Yes,I’ve got new friends.But after a few months,they leave me...I’ve got no more friends.The reason why they leave me is because I’m a boring person.They should leave me from the start.I don’t deserve any love from anyone.They leave the stupid me and go and mix the happy others.I’m used to it.But the truth,it’s not that I don’t want to talk.I don’t know what to talk about.
If I talk something I’m interested and you’re not,what to do?What if I talk something you’re interested but reminds you of the past?I don’t know what to do then....That’s why I’m always alone and looked around hopelessly.You may looked like I’m not lonely and I’m very happy but all that’s a lie...I want friends.Without friends,I’m blind.I don’t know what am I...
When I hurt my friends,I’m guilty.I didn’t mean to do that.But no one would listen.If I say ‘It’s an accident.’Who the heck would believe me?Just a single sorry couldn’t solve any problem. Still in darkness,crying in pain,calling for help...Who will come?That question is in my mind.Who..?I want to share my feelings with everyone.Laugh with everyone and cry with everyone.But everytime I’ve said one thing,they all leave me alone.I’m all alone,in a class.
Waiting for someone to come for me.I’ve wait and wait.’No one’s coming.’The evil side of me spoke.The angel side of me just stay silents.I think devil’s right.No one’s coming.So why am I waiting like an idiot?But I don’t know why,I can’t move.I just sat there in the darkness,didn’t speak,didn’t move.I’ve become a doll.
A useless doll.Who needs a useless and dirty doll?They don’t care what expression you make,they just ignore you.Just like when I’m in the class.It’s not like I don’t want to mix up with y’all...It’s just that I’ve been ignore.No one cares I’m there or not.Silent cries.There’s a wound in my heart.A wound that can never be cure.
By:Aname Ikuyashi